reading: The Dance by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
listening to: Moody Blues
watching: the constant storm
lusting over: her mouth as she speaks
bitching about: ignorance in the medical community
craving: pecans
my 50 things
amazon wishes
make contact


random offerings:
Oro Se Do Bheatha Bhaile
Safe and Sound


Life begins and spirits rise, and they become memories that vaporize, and the vapor becomes the dreams we devise, and while we are dreaming, time flies.

unconscious mutterings

little miss s.

:: Sunday, March 21, 2004 ::

wwwwwow. finally home from New Mexico. i've unpacking and junkmail deleting to do and then to bed for me. i feel like i could sleep for a week. much more as soon as i'm rested.
:: miss s 5:20 PM [+] ::

:: Friday, March 05, 2004 ::

Walmart People Font!::too funny. available for PC or for the far superior =}~ Mac. it even includes printable key-guide so you'll know what key to push to get a certain character. is a site i found a last week. i've been working on some digital collage and a few of their fabrics have added a nice layer of texture to my work.

i found Giovanni Battista Podesta's mixed media art to be inspirational last night. actually, i added the entire to my menu bar and yesyes, i'm inclined to subscribe to the print mag.

:: miss s 9:44 AM [+] ::

{{hoping these break this block o' mine}}

hollywood:: plastic, glitter, crime, "brother can you spare a dime?"

censor::love thy first amendment, book burning

Nascar:: beer, silicone tits, stubble

lube::penetrate, slide, cinnamon flavored

mortgage::banker, interest rate, lifetime

freedom::wings, state of mind

champion::hero, cause, gods

reality tv:: deception, stimulation

New York::Jill, shopping, cab rides, cuisine

tease::brat, "some lovers are content with longing, but I'm not"

:: miss s 9:32 AM [+] ::

:: Tuesday, March 02, 2004 ::

The Dance
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without
abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet
and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us
shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

:: miss s 10:22 AM [+] ::

:: Monday, March 01, 2004 ::

welcome distraction
in lighter news, Santa Barbara was good to me. my weekend there served as the perfect landscape to dive into after such a frustrating and tearful experience.

the B&B we stayed in was very cozy and hospitable. we had dinner at the Taj and shuffled around State St. mostly. i found out that one of my favorite shops, Tienda Ho, was having a killer sale, so i did a gimpsprint through their doors and purchased a few items for Spring. (confession: i went back twice but, according to Shopaholics Anon., Paragraph 12, Section 3a, they don't count 'cuz i bought for OTHERS.)

farmers market was a hoot. why is it i always buy fresh flowers from out-of-town florists only to have them wilt and turn brown on the drive home? i don't understand it. and i don't just mean a few sunflower stalks. i mean HUGE, bring-out-your-biggest-vase arrangements. oy.

there was a group of people i spotted from a few blocks away. they were across the street and carrying picket signs and banners and it made me curious. at first, i thought they were picketing a store but as i watched them, they kept walking down State St. and my eyes focused in on one of their signs. it had a large photo of Dubya and in HUGE red lettering was the word "L I A R". i don't know what came over me then. i began jumping up and down and yelling and whistling at them, encouraging them and adding my voice to their cause. this outburst startled my partner, who just leaned up against a corner shop, arms folded across her chest, and grinned. i'm blessed. she's not one of those who is angered by my passions or embarassed by sudden and spontaneous expression.

time to catch up on some blog reading....

; )

:: miss s 9:33 AM [+] ::

ignorance is dangerous
i am so NOT in a journeling mood. i'm pissy. cranky. crabby. angry.

in a nutshell:

saw the "doc" early Friday morning. what a nightmare. without question, he holds the record for being the most obnoxious, ignorant and arrogant "patient advocate" in existence. he wouldn't listen to me, no matter how Type A i got with him and his idea of a thorough examination was shocking my hands and wrists until my fingertips were throbbing, saying that he couldn't find anything wrong with my nerve responses and then telling me that my chronic, year-long pain is the result of sleep deprivation. of course, he just shook his head when i told him that said deprivation began AFTER the wide-sweeping pain. fuck mook.

i practiced patience, i did; but i am no saint and in a situation like mine, it is crucial that i, the patient, who lives with this day in and day out, be HEARD. unfortunately and to my great frustration, he would have no part of it. too busy pontificating and patting himself on the back. the last 10 minutes of his speech is a blur to me as i tuned him out and took a mental trip to my next step in this process: finding a good work comp lawyer. knowledge is power and as much as i loathe confrontational situations, i have RIGHTS here!!!

i'm dreading this. going to take a couple of days to try and find my boot straps and the Amazon Within. lots of deep breathing, gathering of strength and resources and sugar-free chokkie to wash it all down.

:: miss s 9:09 AM [+] ::

:: Thursday, February 26, 2004 ::

off to see the wizard
i've been referred (...again..) to a neurologist; this time in Santa Barbara. my appt.'s tomorrow morning - early. ew.

wish me luck. i'm terrified. i hope he doesn't spend two hours sticking me w/needles and electrical currents. been there, done that and after about 30 minutes, i'm ready to shed blood and NOT mine. rawr.

the only upside to this will be getting the results from whatever tests he runs and...AND....the shopping in SB is fantabulous, dahlink.

so ha-ha and neener neener. i get to go shopping and dining and B&B'ing in Santa Barbara and you don't. ninny. so there.

more when i get back.

:: miss s 2:37 PM [+] ::

e l o p e m e n t

:: miss s 2:36 PM [+] ::

Mary is a little lamb, little lamb, little f*ing lamb
postcards to Mary Cheney, the openly gay daughter of DICK(wad) Cheney, our V.P.

Write a note to Mary and tell her she's a baaa-aaaaa-d girl

:: miss s 2:20 PM [+] ::

:: Wednesday, February 25, 2004 ::

unconscious mutterings
{{just a few words a day make the restlessness go away}}

ok, here we go...

angel:: watch over you

birth:: labor, blood, liquid, float, choice

logic:: Spock, numbers, left

stars:: indigo, celestial

nursery:: lullaby, rocking chair, breast milk

view:: photo, room with a

heart:: wild, venison

creation:: beginning, Ostare, birth

end:: wall, sign

fortune:: gypsy, treasure

wanna mutter, too?

:: miss s 12:15 PM [+] ::

:: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 ::

Son of a Bush
Bush Endorses Amendment Banning Gay Marriage

-----Original Message-----
From: me
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 11:47 AM
To: my family
Cc: friends
Subject: He did it.

My family~

I've been so keyed-up about this.

I suppose a tiny part of me didn't believe he would actually do it but considering everything else this rabid Christian mongrel's ass has done to this country and it's citizens, the wiser woman in me is not surprised. She is, however, heart-sick.

I cannot express to you all how deeply saddened, angered and hostile I feel regarding this issue and I wonder if any one of you, my dearly loved family, has any idea as to the magnitude of such an endorsement. I wonder if any of us do.


and then there was me mum's reply:

Dear S,
I am sick and upset as well. However, Tony gave me a little hope. It takes NINE YEARS to pull off a Constitutional Amendment, and must pass by a two-thirds majority of Congress. Meanwhile, advocates for gay equality all over the world will be rallying, and writing their state Reps in Congress and Senators, who know which side their bread's buttered on.
Bush is a despicable smear of filth. His Stepford wife smugly supports him, to her shame I think. And John Ashcroft is a monster.
A pox on their houses, may they shit blood forever.

for better or for worse, Mum doesn't hold back

:: miss s 12:16 PM [+] ::

:: Monday, February 23, 2004 ::

go play with mr. picassohead.

go now. shoo.

:: miss s 10:00 PM [+] ::

:: Sunday, February 22, 2004 ::

just when you thought you knew everything...
...the catastrophic cola chapter....

1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl...Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean.

4. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

5. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

6. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

7. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

8. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

9. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, And run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FYI: 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It's pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.

2. To carry Coca Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material cards reserved for Highly Corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! Drink up! No joke. Think what coke and other soft drinks do to your teeth on a daily basis. A tooth will dissolve in a cup of coke in 24-48 hours.
Yes, indeed, things go better with Coke!

{{via an email from me mum. yes, i believe every word except for that "sumptuous gravy" crap.}}

:: miss s 5:13 PM [+] ::

love thy fag, dyke and tranny neighbor
On Wednesday, the President said he is troubled by all the loving going on in San Francisco. He reiterated his position that marriage is between one man and one woman. It would probably be correct to infer that he appropriates this view from the bible. Thanks to an astute e-mailer, here are a few more things the bible has to say about marriage:

Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.(Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron11:21)

A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut 22:13-21)

Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden.(Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any state, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

:: miss s 5:07 PM [+] ::

interview with a Splooshian
while crocheting and rolling my youngest sons dreads, i had the opportunity to delve a bit into his creative mind by way of an imaginative interview. this was brought about by a comment his older brother made: "my brother's from another planet."

it went as follows:

Me: what planet are you from?
K: i'm from planet Sploosh.
Me: how did you get here?
K: i don't remember, but i think one of my grandparents dropped me off.
Me: what is your planet Sploosh like? are there cars there?
K: yes, but they don't touch the ground. they hover and they're really small.
Me: are the cars fueled by gasoline?
K: no. they run on air.
Me: aha. so there is oxygen on this planet. so people from the planet Earth can breathe there?
K: yes. and there are a LOT of trees and the biggest mountains in the galaxy.
Me: how big are the mountains?
K: ten times bigger than Mount Everest. we always have our Olympics in the mountains.
Me: so your people enjoy sports?
K: yes. especially snowboarding. we can make it snow there any time we want.
Me: are there old people there?
K: yes, but they never die because they have the choice to take this pill to make them live forever if they wanna.
Me: then you must have a problem with overpopulation.
K: (pensive) not really. ouch, Mom, you're pulling my hair.
Me: sorry, love. let's see...what else? oh yes; Earth's inhabitants are called earthlings. what are the inhabitants of Sploosh called?
K: Splooshians.
Me: i like that. do you have a Splooshian mama?
K: no. and i don't have a big brother either, thank god.
Me: (laughing) do you think you'll ever go back there?
K: i can't. once you leave, you can never go back.
Me: that's kind of sad.
K: yeah.
Me: (trying to lighten the mood) are there any Splooshians on Earth besides you?
K: no. i was the only one sent here.
Me: why did they send you?
K: so i could be an architect.
Me: there are no achitects on Sploosh?
K: nope. just really huge mountains.
Me: i'm glad they sent you.
K: yeah. me, too.

kinda makes ya wonder, doesn't it?

:: miss s 12:55 PM [+] ::

:: Saturday, February 21, 2004 ::

contribute as if your right's depended on it

buy this poster

All proceeds will be donated to, which is working to stop any constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.

:: miss s 7:54 AM [+] ::

NOT to be missed
Let Love Rule::: a beautiful flash movie re: the SF weddings.

:: miss s 7:34 AM [+] ::


ACTION links

GLBT rights/ACLU
Human Rights Campaign
Nat'l G&L Task Force
Freedom to Marry


to test a man's character, give him power.
~abe lincoln



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