little miss s.

2004-03-21T17:20:00.000-08:00

wwwwwow. finally home from New Mexico. i've unpacking and junkmail deleting to do and then to bed for me. i feel like i could sleep for a week. much more as soon as i'm rested.

2004-03-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

Walmart People Font!::too funny. available for PC or for the far superior =}~ Mac. it even includes printable key-guide so you'll know what key to push to get a certain character.

imageafter.com is a site i found a last week. i've been working on some digital collage and a few of their fabrics have added a nice layer of texture to my work.

i found Giovanni Battista Podesta's mixed media art to be inspirational last night. actually, i added the entire rawvision.com to my menu bar and yesyes, i'm inclined to subscribe to the print mag.

muttermutter

2004-03-05T09:32:00.000-08:00

{{hoping these break this block o' mine}}

hollywood:: plastic, glitter, crime, "brother can you spare a dime?"

censor::love thy first amendment, book burning

Nascar:: beer, silicone tits, stubble

lube::penetrate, slide, cinnamon flavored

mortgage::banker, interest rate, lifetime

freedom::wings, state of mind

champion::hero, cause, gods

reality tv:: deception, stimulation

New York::Jill, shopping, cab rides, cuisine

tease::brat, "some lovers are content with longing, but I'm not"

2004-03-02T10:22:00.000-08:00

The Dance
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

I have sent you my invitation,
the note inscribed on the palm of my hand by the fire of living.
Don't jump up and shout, "Yes, this is what I want! Let's do it!"
Just stand up quietly and dance with me.

Show me how you follow your deepest desires,
spiralling down into the ache within the ache.
And I will show you how I reach inward and open outward
to feel the kiss of the Mystery, sweet lips on my own, everyday.

Don't tell me you want to hold the whole world in your heart.
Show me how you turn away from making another wrong without
abandoning yourself when you are hurt and afraid of being unloved.

Tell me a story of who you are,
And see who I am in the stories I am living.
And together we will remember that each of us always has a choice.

Don't tell me how wonderful things will be . . . some day.
Show me you can risk being completely at peace,
truly OK with the way things are right now in this moment,
and again in the next and the next and the next. . .

I have heard enough warrior stories of heroic daring.
Tell me how you crumble when you hit the wall,
the place you cannot go beyond by the strength of your own will.
What carries you to the other side of that wall,
to the fragile beauty of your own humanness?

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear, healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Take me to the places on the earth that teach you how to dance,
the places where you can risk letting the world break your heart.
And I will take you to the places where the earth beneath my feet
and the stars overhead make my heart whole again and again.

Show me how you take care of business
without letting business determine who you are.
When the children are fed but still the voices within and around us
shout that soul's desires have too high a price,
let us remind each other that it is never about the money.

Show me how you offer to your people and the world
the stories and the songs you want our children's children to remember, and I will show you how I struggle
not to change the world, but to love it.

Sit beside me in long moments of shared solitude,
knowing both our absolute aloneness and our undeniable belonging. Dance with me in the silence and in the sound of small daily words, holding neither against me at the end of the day.

And when the sound of all the declarations of our sincerest
intentions has died away on the wind, dance with me in the infinite pause before the next great inhale of the breath that is breathing us all into being, not filling the emptiness from the outside or from within.

Don't say, "Yes!"
Just take my hand and dance with me.

welcome distraction

2004-03-01T09:33:00.000-08:00

in lighter news, Santa Barbara was good to me. my weekend there served as the perfect landscape to dive into after such a frustrating and tearful experience.

the B&B we stayed in was very cozy and hospitable. we had dinner at the Taj and shuffled around State St. mostly. i found out that one of my favorite shops, Tienda Ho, was having a killer sale, so i did a gimpsprint through their doors and purchased a few items for Spring. (confession: i went back twice but, according to Shopaholics Anon., Paragraph 12, Section 3a, they don't count 'cuz i bought for OTHERS.)

farmers market was a hoot. why is it i always buy fresh flowers from out-of-town florists only to have them wilt and turn brown on the drive home? i don't understand it. and i don't just mean a few sunflower stalks. i mean HUGE, bring-out-your-biggest-vase arrangements. oy.

there was a group of people i spotted from a few blocks away. they were across the street and carrying picket signs and banners and it made me curious. at first, i thought they were picketing a store but as i watched them, they kept walking down State St. and my eyes focused in on one of their signs. it had a large photo of Dubya and in HUGE red lettering was the word "L I A R". i don't know what came over me then. i began jumping up and down and yelling and whistling at them, encouraging them and adding my voice to their cause. this outburst startled my partner, who just leaned up against a corner shop, arms folded across her chest, and grinned. i'm blessed. she's not one of those who is angered by my passions or embarassed by sudden and spontaneous expression.

time to catch up on some blog reading....

; )

ignorance is dangerous

2004-03-01T09:09:00.000-08:00

i am so NOT in a journeling mood. i'm pissy. cranky. crabby. angry.

in a nutshell:

saw the "doc" early Friday morning. what a nightmare. without question, he holds the record for being the most obnoxious, ignorant and arrogant "patient advocate" in existence. he wouldn't listen to me, no matter how Type A i got with him and his idea of a thorough examination was shocking my hands and wrists until my fingertips were throbbing, saying that he couldn't find anything wrong with my nerve responses and then telling me that my chronic, year-long pain is the result of sleep deprivation. of course, he just shook his head when i told him that said deprivation began AFTER the wide-sweeping pain. fuck mook.

i practiced patience, i did; but i am no saint and in a situation like mine, it is crucial that i, the patient, who lives with this day in and day out, be HEARD. unfortunately and to my great frustration, he would have no part of it. too busy pontificating and patting himself on the back. the last 10 minutes of his speech is a blur to me as i tuned him out and took a mental trip to my next step in this process: finding a good work comp lawyer. knowledge is power and as much as i loathe confrontational situations, i have RIGHTS here!!!

i'm dreading this. going to take a couple of days to try and find my boot straps and the Amazon Within. lots of deep breathing, gathering of strength and resources and sugar-free chokkie to wash it all down.

off to see the wizard

2004-02-26T14:37:00.000-08:00

i've been referred (...again..) to a neurologist; this time in Santa Barbara. my appt.'s tomorrow morning - early. ew.

wish me luck. i'm terrified. i hope he doesn't spend two hours sticking me w/needles and electrical currents. been there, done that and after about 30 minutes, i'm ready to shed blood and NOT mine. rawr.

the only upside to this will be getting the results from whatever tests he runs and...AND....the shopping in SB is fantabulous, dahlink.

so ha-ha and neener neener. i get to go shopping and dining and B&B'ing in Santa Barbara and you don't. ninny. so there.

more when i get back.

sweetness

2004-02-26T14:36:00.000-08:00

e l o p e m e n t

Mary is a little lamb, little lamb, little f*ing lamb

2004-02-26T14:20:00.000-08:00

postcards to Mary Cheney, the openly gay daughter of DICK(wad) Cheney, our V.P.

Write a note to Mary and tell her she's a baaa-aaaaa-d girl

unconscious mutterings

2004-02-25T12:15:00.000-08:00

{{just a few words a day make the restlessness go away}}

ok, here we go...

angel:: watch over you

birth:: labor, blood, liquid, float, choice

logic:: Spock, numbers, left

stars:: indigo, celestial

nursery:: lullaby, rocking chair, breast milk

view:: photo, room with a

heart:: wild, venison

creation:: beginning, Ostare, birth

end:: wall, sign

fortune:: gypsy, treasure

wanna mutter, too?

Son of a Bush

2004-02-24T12:16:00.000-08:00

Bush Endorses Amendment Banning Gay Marriage

-----Original Message-----
From: me
Sent: Tuesday, February 24, 2004 11:47 AM
To: my family
Cc: friends
Subject: He did it.

My family~

I've been so keyed-up about this.

I suppose a tiny part of me didn't believe he would actually do it but considering everything else this rabid Christian mongrel's ass has done to this country and it's citizens, the wiser woman in me is not surprised. She is, however, heart-sick.

I cannot express to you all how deeply saddened, angered and hostile I feel regarding this issue and I wonder if any one of you, my dearly loved family, has any idea as to the magnitude of such an endorsement. I wonder if any of us do.

S

and then there was me mum's reply:

Dear S,
I am sick and upset as well. However, Tony gave me a little hope. It takes NINE YEARS to pull off a Constitutional Amendment, and must pass by a two-thirds majority of Congress. Meanwhile, advocates for gay equality all over the world will be rallying, and writing their state Reps in Congress and Senators, who know which side their bread's buttered on.
Bush is a despicable smear of filth. His Stepford wife smugly supports him, to her shame I think. And John Ashcroft is a monster.
A pox on their houses, may they shit blood forever.
Mum

for better or for worse, Mum doesn't hold back

2004-02-23T22:00:00.000-08:00

go play with mr. picassohead.

go now. shoo.

just when you thought you knew everything...

2004-02-22T17:13:00.000-08:00

...the catastrophic cola chapter....

1. In many states the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the trunk to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.

2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.

3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl...Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean.

4. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.

5. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.

6. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.

7. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.

8. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.

9. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, And run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.

FYI: 1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. It's pH is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.

2. To carry Coca Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material cards reserved for Highly Corrosive materials.

3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years! Drink up! No joke. Think what coke and other soft drinks do to your teeth on a daily basis. A tooth will dissolve in a cup of coke in 24-48 hours.
Yes, indeed, things go better with Coke!

{{via an email from me mum. yes, i believe every word except for that "sumptuous gravy" crap.}}

love thy fag, dyke and tranny neighbor

2004-02-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday, the President said he is troubled by all the loving going on in San Francisco. He reiterated his position that marriage is between one man and one woman. It would probably be correct to infer that he appropriates this view from the bible. Thanks to an astute e-mailer, here are a few more things the bible has to say about marriage:

Marriage shall consist of a union between one man and one or more women.(Gen 29:17-28; II Sam 3:2-5.)

Marriage shall not impede a man's right to take concubines in addition to his wife or wives. (II Sam 5:13; I Kings 11:3; II Chron11:21)

A marriage shall be considered valid only if the wife is a virgin. If the wife is not a virgin, she shall be executed (Deut 22:13-21)

Marriage of a believer and a non-believer shall be forbidden.(Gen 24:3; Num 25:1-9; Ezra 9:12; Neh 10:30)

Since marriage is for life, neither this Constitution nor the constitution of any state, nor any state or federal law, shall be construed to permit divorce. (Deut 22:19; Mark 10:9)

If a married man dies without children, his brother shall marry the widow. If he refuses to marry his brother's widow or deliberately does not give her children, he shall pay a fine of one shoe and be otherwise punished in a manner to be determined by law. (Gen. 38:6-10; Deut 25:5-10)

In lieu of marriage, if there are no acceptable men in your town, it is required that you get your dad drunk and have sex with him (even if he had previously offered you up as a sex toy to men young and old), tag-teaming with any sisters you may have. Of course, this rule applies only if you are female. (Gen 19:31-36)

interview with a Splooshian

2004-02-22T12:55:00.000-08:00

while crocheting and rolling my youngest sons dreads, i had the opportunity to delve a bit into his creative mind by way of an imaginative interview. this was brought about by a comment his older brother made: "my brother's from another planet."

it went as follows:

Me: what planet are you from?
K: i'm from planet Sploosh.
Me: how did you get here?
K: i don't remember, but i think one of my grandparents dropped me off.
Me: what is your planet Sploosh like? are there cars there?
K: yes, but they don't touch the ground. they hover and they're really small.
Me: are the cars fueled by gasoline?
K: no. they run on air.
Me: aha. so there is oxygen on this planet. so people from the planet Earth can breathe there?
K: yes. and there are a LOT of trees and the biggest mountains in the galaxy.
Me: how big are the mountains?
K: ten times bigger than Mount Everest. we always have our Olympics in the mountains.
Me: so your people enjoy sports?
K: yes. especially snowboarding. we can make it snow there any time we want.
Me: are there old people there?
K: yes, but they never die because they have the choice to take this pill to make them live forever if they wanna.
Me: then you must have a problem with overpopulation.
K: (pensive) not really. ouch, Mom, you're pulling my hair.
Me: sorry, love. let's see...what else? oh yes; Earth's inhabitants are called earthlings. what are the inhabitants of Sploosh called?
K: Splooshians.
Me: i like that. do you have a Splooshian mama?
K: no. and i don't have a big brother either, thank god.
Me: (laughing) do you think you'll ever go back there?
K: i can't. once you leave, you can never go back.
Me: that's kind of sad.
K: yeah.
Me: (trying to lighten the mood) are there any Splooshians on Earth besides you?
K: no. i was the only one sent here.
Me: why did they send you?
K: so i could be an architect.
Me: there are no achitects on Sploosh?
K: nope. just really huge mountains.
Me: i'm glad they sent you.
K: yeah. me, too.

kinda makes ya wonder, doesn't it?

contribute as if your right's depended on it

2004-02-21T07:54:00.000-08:00

buy this poster

All proceeds will be donated to DontAmend.com, which is working to stop any constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage.

NOT to be missed

2004-02-21T07:34:00.000-08:00

Let Love Rule::: a beautiful flash movie re: the SF weddings.

reality check

2004-02-20T16:10:00.000-08:00

when at long last you meet the love of your life, see Venice or get what you always wanted, you feel like pinching yourself. no, you are not dreaming. in fact, you are probably having a heightened moment of awareness. the real thing often looks unreal.
to go beyond the illusion of ordinary reality, try the following:

~~close your eyes:: though we usually take pictures to make an occasion more special, we can also fix the impression forever in our memories by closing our eyes and savoring the moment with our other senses.

~~mute your mind:: we all keep a running commentary in our heads, hoping that words will make what we see more real. but it's usually at the end of the day, when we are too tired to think, that reality begins to sink in.

~~confuse your sense of direction:: thinking you know where you are often robs you of the experience of reality. to explore a new place without preconceived ideas, take along a compass instead of a map.

~~miss the action:: rather than visit all of Paris is three days, just see one museum, and spend the rest of your time sitting in cafes and gardens, dreaming, reading and watching the crowd.

life is but a dream.

{{taken from The Art of Imperfection by Veronique Vienne}}

friday five

2004-02-20T08:31:00.000-08:00

this week's questions are rather dull but here they are anyway, followed by my answers.

When was the last time you...

1. ...went to the doctor?

Jan. 1, 2004 for my yearly pap. all tests results were "within normal limits" and i was told that i need to schedule myself for a mammogram since i'm turning 40 this year. this makes me a bit nervous.

2. ...went to the dentist?

two years ago for a cleaning and to repair a filling. i am one of those who has to take an Ativan just to walk IN to a damn dentist's offfice. i have a grand total of two fillings in my mouth and very healthy teeth.

3. ...filled your gas tank?

yesterday. in the rain. in the wind. in my pink bunny slippers.

4. ...got enough sleep?

1991 B.C. (Before the Chaos) Such fond memories, tho'.

5. ...backed up your computer?

uhm. i better get on that soon, eh?

2004-02-19T13:00:00.000-08:00

i'm spinning my wheels today. after several hours of frustrating energy, i decided to plop myself down on the rug and go through some old magazines. i look for words for my collage work. i'm picky about this. the fonts have to be special. the word itself cannot be planted over an obtrusive background. etc.

the words i find / am attracted to vary, of course, with my present state of mind. i've also found that the words make a certain pattern or visual that parallels what's going on in my life.

here is a list of the words & phrases i found and cut out today:

lessons

summon

awesome

taking wing

karma

grownups

kind

magic

touching

fierce

bitch

queen

wizardry

unleashed

nesting

soap box

mysteries

your journey

kaleidoscope

and lastly..perhaps mostly...

"art is not bound by frames"

these will add a deeper dimension to my collection, i'm sure. *g*

ciao for now.

quickie

2004-02-19T07:55:00.000-08:00

this to that:::Because people have a need to glue things to other things.

vintage skivvies!::: Be sure to check out their "tie sides" drawers.

a dab'll do ya

2004-02-18T16:45:00.000-08:00

"I guess nothing will shut up a critic faster than an invitation to reality."

wishes, horses and beggars

2004-02-18T09:20:00.000-08:00

i've updated my wishlist, deleting the things that i bought for myself and adding a few new things in. these things come in handy, you know.

if i were rich, i would choose 10 of my favorite bloggers and buy every single thing on their wishlists for them; sending the loot anonymously, of course. mmmm, yes. how fun that would be.

the winds yesterday were ferocious. some old, dead branches cracked off some of the Tamarack trees on the back of the property and i was blessed by a storm of mistletoe that blew loose from an oak by my cabin porch. it was a lovely sight; the contrasting greens swirling around and around until finally coming to rest on the rain-soaked earth. when i realized it was mistletoe, i bounced up and down and squealed w/glee. it made me want to kiss someone quick, but there was no one home to kiss. i blew a kiss to the tree instead. in moments like that, i simply have to do SOMEthing.

***

i think my favorite view from the cabin thus far is from the loft window that faces the south. it's sort of like being in a birds nest up there anyway; so incredibly cozy and safe feeling. out that window, i look over the tops of wintery saplings, beyond the roof of the shed we built last summer and into a pasture of horses. the pinto there is my buddy. i watch him tease and taunt the other horses until they'll run and play with him. he bucks mid-stride, pushing his head down; his raven-colored mane whipping against his nose. it makes me want to ride him through these hills.

ah. time for tea and a shower. more later.

random offerings

2004-02-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

i've added back the "random offerings" section (to the right), namely because a certain pal o' mine has the meanest server alive and can't receive them via e-mail. this section will grow, shrink and might disappear altogether. it's random, man. whadda ya want?

2004-02-17T10:58:00.000-08:00

i hate the term "breeders".

pet peeves by prompt

2004-02-17T07:35:00.000-08:00

five of my pet peeves are...

1. tools left out in the rain to rust
2. toothpaste blobs in the sink
3. people that talk to me w/their sunglasses on. give me eye contact or stfu.
4. that toilet seat thing!
5. being asked "would you like a glass with that?" when i order a bottle of Sam Adams. of course i want a damn glass and i want it chilled, too.

what are your pet peeves?

living with it

2004-02-16T08:06:00.000-08:00

A mushy brown peach is lifted from the garbage and placed on the table to pinken. It pinkens, it turns hard, it is carried in a shopping sack to the grocer's, put on a shelf, removed and crated, returned to the tree with pink blossoms. In this world, time flows backwards. {{taken from Einstein's Dreams by Alan Lightman}}

if only...if only...if only.

there really is nothing like regret to remind you you're alive.

unconscious mutterings

2004-02-15T03:19:00.000-08:00

1. dragon::: protect, sacred feminine, south

2. molecule::: tiny, born, miracle

3. tire::: spin, flash, flat

4. mighty::: strong, embrace, butch

5. octane::: power-ade

6. troll::: bridge, skank

7. atmosphere::: threatened

8. guide::: tour, about dot, money

9. leash::: restrict, own, train

10. dustmite::: microscope, flesh eating

wanna mutter, too?

2004-02-15T03:02:00.000-08:00

when i was a brand new mother, i learned that sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

so is being surrounded by dogs.

some cat's in heat or there's a possum in someone's trash or the damn beasts are just having their weekly rapfest. they've been nonstop for hours now and every fucking one of them has decided to join in.

i have earplugs in my bedside drawer but one of my kidlets is sick (suprisingly enough, he's slept right through all the ruckus) and i dare not use them for fear of not hearing him should he awaken and need me. so, after stepping onto the porch, whistling at the lot of them and yelling out a few brutal expletives (obviously to no avail), i've decided to give up on sleep for the night.

cajun dynamite

2004-02-13T16:03:00.000-08:00

Boudreaux took Marie home with him and took off his shirt. Marie said, "Boudreaux dat's some chest you have dare." Boudreaux says, "Marie, dat's a hundred seventy pounds of dynamite". Next he
took off his pants. Marie says, "Boudreaux dat's nice calves you have dare." Boudreaux says, "Marie dat's a hundred seventy pounds of dynamite." Boudreaux quickly reached down and pulled off his underpants and Marie screamed and ran out the door. Boudreaux put his clothes back on and ran after her. Catching her, Boudreaux said "Marie, Why you ran out like dat?" Marie said, "With all dat dynamite around, I taught it was going to explode when I saw how short da fuse was"!

via naturalis

2004-02-12T13:38:00.000-08:00

A GYNECOLOGIST in Beverly Hills has come up with a new and improved way to snatch women's dollars and make us feel bad about our bodies. Unload several thousand bucks on this doc, and he will "surgically reconstruct" your vagina in about an hour. Designer Laser Vaginoplasty, as he calls it, is purely an "aesthetic surgical enhancement." Translation: in addition to the paranoia women already feel about how our vaginas smell, taste, and feel—as well as the numerous gyno responsibilities of keepin' em healthy—we're now supposed to stress about having pretty kitties, whatever the hell that even means.
For those cherry-poppin' mamis who want to create the illusion of virginity without the hassle of sacrificing sex, he also offers surgical reconstruction of the hymen. Why? Because he's "sensitive to the needs of various ethnic and cultural customs in this area of intimacy and social concern." At least he's sensitive about something. —Pia Guerrero

wow. so many thoughts on this. so very many.

to summarize: my pussy is perfect just the way it is, tyvm and i wish every other woman on the earth felt like i do. (hell, i just wish half the female population could say the word "pussy" without flinching.)

meow.

googlism-ing for a valentine

2004-02-12T13:16:00.000-08:00

{{subheading: maybe i should masturbate instead}}

Googlism for: valentine

----->i've marked my faves w/ an ***

valentine is the knave
valentine is more than cards and candy
valentine is not mayra boyle
valentine is fine
valentine is tagged out trying to steal
valentine is here
valentine is missing last seen in kennewick wa reward of
valentine is going beyond the real and mundane
valentine is a pecker***
valentine is the time to remember love by archie r
valentine is an accomplished performer who wears many hats***
valentine is nothing like
valentine is nothing like; although our love is over
valentine is more than cards and candy hearts illustration by michael o'neill mcgrath
valentine is my dad
valentine is under the car***
valentine is with the kite
valentine is my new honey by pluckyduck***
valentine is pretty bad
valentine is tagged out trying to steal second by chicago cubs' shortstop alex gonzalez
valentine is a unique trip into the disturbed but still highly intelligent mind of a character only
valentine is ugly
valentine is very kind
valentine is an author
valentine is s'posed to bring a warm and fuzzy feeling a valentine is s'posed to make your brain begin a'reeling a valentine is heavenly a
valentine is as sweet as a _________________ www
valentine is working to heal a blind boy and is arrested by roman soldiers for his work as an ?undercover priest?***
valentine is sent priority mail to get a jump on my competition
valentine is obviously
valentine is a by
valentine is in very nice condition
valentine is life
valentine is the most precocious foal i have ever met***
valentine is told
valentine is a perfect example of the kind of mean
valentine is overly aware of this appeal
valentine is her husband
valentine is a hoot
valentine is a dainty creation of lace paper
valentine is just vapid
valentine is
valentine is a genuinely creepy slasher thanks to some wonderful visuals***
valentine is just the latest in a long line of detective/mystery thrillers
valentine is an extremely strange slasher movie
valentine is a champion of the true small online business
valentine is a hit
valentine is the beautiful now
valentine is a thriving community located in the sandhills of nebraska
valentine is the 1
valentine is going beyond the real and mundane posted
valentine is a standout
valentine is a man pursued by wild rumors
valentine is active in the american immigration lawyers association
valentine is one of our pinto mares
valentine is viewed as egotistical
valentine is also head of the comprehensive estate planning and probate division of monroe & associates
valentine is a band that provided a little warmth in
valentine is currently undertaking an esrc funded research project into living on the edge
valentine is pretty much cut from the same cloth
valentine is one of the most highly requested shows in the theatre's history and stars sandra shipley
valentine is a proud part of thefanlistings
valentine is an award winning author
valentine is loveable
valentine is challenging
valentine is filled with a gorgeous cast
valentine is just bad
valentine is a feverish tale
valentine is dolby digital english mono
valentine is more to me than a lacy
valentine is a simple romantic love story that doesn't stretch the imagination
valentine is about the loud loathing and bitter release that can be cathartic year***
valentine is leaving for the city of milan to see what the world has to offer
valentine is the second slasher flick from urban legend
valentine is known to have a large debt upon her head
valentine is helping to unravel the mystery of how sound is interpreted by the brain***
valentine is erotic and despairing in tone as it traces the transformation of
valentine is almost an exact clone of friday the 13th with only the location and holiday changed
valentine is a fairly scary apparition; he always dresses in full miner's gear***
valentine is my favorite koreanime character
valentine is the latest entry in jove's "friends romance" line
valentine is also a popular vacation destination with many outdoor activities
valentine is there to give cover for ginny's embarrassment over seeing that harry has riddle's diary
valentine is the perfect porn actress***
valentine is currently promoting their first full length cd 'gorgon'
valentine is headlined by actresses denise richards and marley shelton
valentine is a superior product

e-mail of the day

2004-02-12T12:53:00.000-08:00

{{out of context but in its entirety}}

From: her
Sent: Thursday, February 12, 2004 12:19 PM
To: me
Subject: Midday Repast

I have a BIG, pretty onion we could use...

Cover your ears. I need to howl now.

Reality Check

2004-02-12T10:44:00.000-08:00

The president is spending $1.5 billion to persuade more Americans to have happy married lives, but plans to keep gay Americans from having happy married lives.

Mr. Bush said he wouldn't try to overturn abortion rights. But John Ashcroft is intimidating women who had certain abortions by subpoenaing records in six hospitals in New York, Philadelphia and elsewhere.

The president set up the intelligence commission (with few intelligence experts) because, he said, the best intelligence is needed to win the war on terror. Yet he doesn't want us to get the panel's crucial report until after he's won the war on Kerry.

Mr. Bush said he had balked at giving the 9/11 commission the records of his daily briefings from the C.I.A. until faced with a subpoena threat because it might deter the C.I.A. from giving the president "good, honest information." Wasn't it such "good, honest information" that caused him to miss 9/11 and mobilize the greatest war machine in history against Saddam's empty cupboard?

Mr. Bush says he's working hard to create new jobs in America, while his top economist says it's healthy for jobs to be shipped overseas.

The president told Tim Russert that if you order a country to disarm and it doesn't and you don't act, you lose face. But how does a country that goes to war to disarm a country without arms get back its face?

Mr. Bush said he was troubled that the Vietnam War was "a political war," because civilian politicians didn't let the generals decide how to fight it. But when Gen. Eric Shinseki presciently told Congress in February 2003 that postwar Iraq would need several hundred thousand U.S. soldiers to keep it secure and supplied, he was swatted down by the Bush administration's civilian politicians.

Yes, it all makes perfect sense, through the Bush looking glass.

unconscious mutterings

2004-02-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

1. identity:::theft, james bond

2.reveal:::true nature, uncloth, strip, hide

3.live:::each day as if it were your last

4. attitude:::sarcasm, proud

5. night:::snow drifts

6. nevada:::desert, rape

7. weekend:::rest, rat race

8. write:::to save my life

9. friend:::maryjanes

10. seventeen:::edge of, stevie nicks

wanna mutter, too?

2004-02-10T21:17:00.000-08:00

"...the true legacy is in the giving, and forgiving, time, love, friendship, kindness, brotherhood, peace, truth, a piece of you, something that pulls back a layer or two and leaves some residue that connects us all. It doesn't have to be big, just something that stands for a universal truth bigger than the self."

jockohomo: je t'adore. *sniffle*

on the edge of inspiration

2004-02-10T08:29:00.000-08:00

that is all.

a few interesting finds

2004-02-10T06:58:00.000-08:00

LONDON (Reuters) - The Three Wise Men who followed the star to Bethlehem bearing gifts for the baby Jesus may not have been all that wise -- or even men.

get flawless movie rental ideas based on your personality

a way out of automated phone hell

(a "few"=three. correct?)

sunday bliss

2004-02-08T07:56:00.000-08:00

this is by far my favorite day of the week. not worrying about the morning hair that's sticking straight up to the point of hurting. lounging clothes. soft, loose and self-indulgent. shuffling to the kitchen to brew a steaming pot of passion tea. every day should be sunday or at the very least begin like a sunday.

another freeze last night. i let the cat who adopted me sleep at the foot of my bed. i invited her in around midnight for some cuddles and cream and just didn't have the heart to boot her back out again. she only woke me up once; headbutting me for more lovin' and kneading my shoulder like a kitten. great cat. she must have been a house cat for someone once upon a time.

the steps to my cabin were white with frost when i let her out to do her morning thing. she left perfect little kitty prints on them as she descended. it's the simplest things that make me smile.

in the blink of an eye

2004-02-06T17:39:00.000-08:00

tomorrow my first born son turns 12.

12 years ago tomorrow, i became a mother.

i have spent a better part of this day (on and off) crying. happy tears. proud tears. bittersweet.

Happy Solar Return, my precious D. Thank you, thank you, thank you for choosing ME to mother you in this life. I love you with all of my heart and soul...."to the moon times infinity".

the Unlimited

2004-02-06T05:38:00.000-08:00

double the cargo space. now it IS perfect. SHIT.

great head

2004-02-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

choosing your target: heads and hearts

the successful flirt will have made a serious study of her target's features; her head, her hair. before attempting any serious flirtation one look at the wo/man's head can tell you the most effective way to flirt.

a love of good food...

if the head bulges at the sides, over the ears, this indicates a power for acquiring wealth and a fondness for eating and drinking. this wo/man cares more for a good feed than for literature or paintings.

fastidiuous...

an upside down pear shaped head, with narrow temples will be fastidious about her dress- flatter her. a good book, a good picture, a good poem would afford her more enjoyment.

sentimental...

if the upper portion of the side of the head is full it shows a poetical, sentimental nature.

sensual...

if the head is full at the base including the neck back and sides, the wo/man is base and sensual, given to voluptuous pleasures and not very particular as to her love affairs.

stubborn...

if the head rises to a point its owner will be firm, stubborn and self willed.

practical...

the wo/man with a full forehead will be of a practical turn of mind.

independent...

if the head is rather flat at the back, the owner will not care very much for family or home.

taken from The Gentle Art of Flirtation compiled by Jan Barnes and Beryl Peters.

Britney Bond?

2004-02-05T10:27:00.000-08:00

gag me right down the block. like, totally.

plech

2004-02-05T03:18:00.000-08:00

it's three in the morning. do you know where YOUR Advil is?

my horoscope for the week of Feb. 5th

2004-02-04T19:00:00.000-08:00

You're in a phase of your yearly cycle when fate will conspire to expand your perspective, get you naturally high, and turn you into an explorer. To align yourself with these cosmic tendencies, you might want to charter a supersonic MiG-25 Foxbat plane to ferry you to the upper edge of the atmosphere, where you can see the curvature of the Earth. Other good ideas: Sail over Tanzania's Serengeti Plains in a hot-air balloon; paraglide off the sea cliffs at Oahu's Makapuu Point; or take a class in shamanism at a local yoga center.

Mass. ruling

2004-02-04T17:48:00.000-08:00

T says: "To me, if we don't have equality under the law, then the Declaration of Independence, and everything after it, up to and including the every lofty ideal on which this country was allegedly founded, is simply a damned lie."

bravo, T. i love you, love you, love you, man.

read it.

table talk (or "when all else fails, make lists")

2004-02-04T13:54:00.000-08:00

on my kitchen table:

::two blood oranges and two kiwi fruit sitting on a chipped china dessert plate
::four linen napkins
::one stainless steel lantern
::a ceramic butter dish

on my bedside table:

::a stainless steel desktop telephone
::my favorite fountain pen
::last night's cup of tea w/a wedge of lemon on the saucer
::a jumbo bottle of Advil
::"The Word Museum" by Jeffrey Kacirk
::"Tapping the Dream Tree" by Charles DeLint
::a bottle of Aveeno Lotion

and another...in time and in tune with my present mood

2004-02-03T18:17:00.000-08:00

when serpents bargain for the right to squirm
and the sun strikes to gain a living wage-
when thorns regard their roses with alarm
and rainbows are insured against old age

when every thrush may sing no new moon in
if all screech-owls have not okayed his voice
-and any wave signs on the dotted line
or elese an ocean is compelled to close

when the oak begs permission of the birch
to make an acorn-valleys accuse their mountains of having altitude-and march
denounces april as a saboteur

then we'll believe in that incredible
unanimal mankind (and not until)

--e.e.cummings

2004-02-03T18:13:00.000-08:00

love is more thicker than forget
more thinner than recall
more seldom than a wave is wet
more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly
and less it shall unbe
than all the sea which only
is deeper than the sea

love is less always than to win
less never than alive
less bigger than the least begin
less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly
and more it cannot die
than all the sky which only
is higher than the sky

--e.e.cummings

2004-02-02T19:17:00.000-08:00

VICTOR: You are victor!

1400-years-old, he is the supreme Vampire overlord
who has been sleepong to restore his power.
Selene trusts him as she trusts no one else and
daringly awkens him when no one else believes
her discovery of the Lycan plot to destroy the
Vampires. Viktor is tall, powerful, haught, and
ostentatious. And ruthless. He had his own
daughter, Sonja, executed when it was
discovered she was secretly involved with a
lycan leader. Many have elevated him to
celebrity status. Many others wish him dead.
But Viktor has his own secrets and a dark side
no other Vampire has ever known ... he may have
been the one who began the ancient battle
between Lycans and
Vampires.

Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

You are guided by the earth itself. People like you
are very rare. You are in tune with everything
around you. While you try to bring peace to the
world, you can sometimes create pain to those
around you. You generally don't take risks.
(Rate my test)

What force is your soul?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-02T19:09:00.000-08:00

You have a mysterious kiss. Your partner never
knows what you're going to come up with next;
this creates great excitement and arousal never
knowing what to expect. And it's sure to end
in a kiss as great as your mystery.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-02-02T16:23:00.000-08:00

it's raining
it's pouring
the Old Woman was snoring
she jumped out of bed
and saw the full moon
and danced all night 'til the morning

i can hear distant thunder and i've lost electricity several times today. candles are at the ready. the fire in the main house is set. the roads in town are flooded and finally, oh the sweetness of seeing water running in the river.

*sigh* so K, who just got dreads was called a "mophead" by his music teacher today at school. it wasn't nice. it wasn't teasing. it was just plain mean, by the sounds of it. fuck. another boneheaded dragon to slay. i'll speak w/her tomorrow.

Bush/Blair Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize???

2004-02-02T08:12:00.000-08:00

They have GOT to be fucking kidding.

2004-02-01T17:32:00.000-08:00

Patriots are ahead by 3 pts. i had to leave our little SB party with the neighbors. couldn't get comfortable..physically. thank gawd it's a short walk home. every step i take today burns the muscles in my legs and i'm so fatigued, i can barely stand w/out swaying.

cabin sweet cabin with it's comfy chairs and utter quietude.

K, my baby boy (10), got dreads yesterday. lil blonde baby Marley dreads. he's adorable. girlfriends thought it would be fab to braid my hair all over as well, so i looked more like his mama. *g* it looks funny to me, but i'll leave them in for a few days for a change.

my mind is skipping all over the damn place.

my oldest son, D, turns 12 on Feb. 7th. the last year before those teens strike. gads, i'm frightened. they're both growing up so fast, it takes my breath away. goddess bless and protect them both and help them to make wise choices.

i suck at this journaling thing. i really do. i used to be so good at it. so fluid; most especially in my personal hand-written journal. for the past several months, i've only kept a pain journal to track my symptoms. in it are only chicken scratch shorthand scrawlings that make sense to no one else but me. no mention of emotion or the day-to-day life or relations or love or dreamings. just the pain. where it is, what it feels like. whether it's sharp or like pins and needles or paralyzing or something i can breathe through.

so many parts of me are disconnected. apathy sucks but it's here. it's BEEN here and it looks like it's made itself at home for a while. propped it's fucking feet up on the ottoman and called for it's pipe and morning paper. a small part of me is thankful for it yet, for the most part, i fear that the longer it stays, the more i'll grow accustomed to it.

what emotion does my soul represent?

2004-01-31T19:49:00.000-08:00

You're Lust!
You just can't get sex off the old noggin' can you?
You're the flirty, sexy one of your friends,
constantly hooking people up and setting up
play-dates and such. You pretty much wrote the
book on human relations. It's ok for a little
pleasure every now and then, what's a little
kiss between friends?

What emotion does your soul represent?
brought to you by Quizilla

hmm.

just a note

2004-01-30T11:47:00.000-08:00

green olives and peanut butter is NOT a great combo.

playing catch up: the disease and the protocol

2004-01-30T09:01:00.000-08:00

i have a dis-ease called Fibromyalgia. on Jan. 1st, i began the protocol for treatment. coupled with the Fibromyalgia and severely adding to the crushing fatigue, i am Hypoglycemic. this is also referred to as Fibroglycemic because of the large number of overlapping symptoms. so on the same day i began the Guaifenesen, i changed my entire way of eating.

i only choose to journal these facts as a personal marking point for ME. it's somehow therapeutic and helps me shrink this nightmarish time of my life to a more palatable, just-the-facts-ma'am gig.

playing catch-up: the earthquake

2004-01-30T08:17:00.000-08:00

i was on the phone w/my love VERY upset with the news that my cabin would not be delivered in time for Winter Solstice. i was teary and pissed. all of a sudden, i hear her saying, "Oh no. Here we go. Hold on, baby. Earthquake. Hold on, baby."

She's several miles away in her office and i had absolutely NO idea what the hell she was talking about. then it hit the house. about the time my legs told my brain what was going on, i was on my way from the sunporch to the living room, where my sons were playing a boardgame on the rug. the phone went dead, i dropped it. i crossed the room in a leap, grabbed both my boys by the backs of their shirts and shoved them to the side of my bed then threw myself on top of them. my youngest was crying and asking, "What is it, Mommy? What's happening?" my oldest had his eyes closed and a death grip on my arm. the noise was horrendous - a train derailing or ten rolls of thunder at once and like nothing i've heard in my lifetime. the movement was sickening - a sharp and furious ripple followed by the house jumping and twisting followed by more wave-like rolling. it seemed to last forever.

somewhere in the middle of this scene, i had full-on conversations w/my sons. i.e. my youngest said, "Mommy, i don't feel good." to which i answered, (i think) "Breathe, baby. It's almost over and Mommy's right here with you." i actually had the time DURING the rolling and pitching to tell them what was happening.

when it stopped, we stayed there for a few. the boys kept asking if it was over and i kept answering that i didn't know and told them to stay put. i got up, felt VERY sea-sick and made my way to the cabinet where my shortwave radio was kept. i tossed it to my oldest son and told him to tune into the local station. i checked that we had electricity. we did, so i turned on CNN. this seemed to comfort my kidlets.

i think it's then that it hit me: why the holy hell didn't i tell them to stand in a doorway??? jesus christ on a raft, a thousand things could have fallen on us from our position by the bed. and yet, it DID seem the safest place at the time and we DID survive without incident. so, i told them that if it began again (and i explained aftershocks), to stand in the doorway. duh, Mom. OY.

after clipping the shortwave to my jeans, i went about the house gathering flashlights and batteries and candles and the bottled water from the cellar; sniffed around the house for propane leaks (none, and yes, goddamnit, i should have thought of that before i flipped any switches that called for electricity). i checked on the dogs and the yelled to my neighbors who were standing outside. i noticed new cracks in the driveway and crossed myself that we live in a house that was build in the late '30s AND on a raised foundation to boot. the ultimate in shock absorption. and after all of that, i didn't know what to do with myself, so i figured i'd better cook spaghetti because, according to the radio, everyone and their uncle was losing power and propane and we might be next. phew.

so that's it in a nutshell. no damage to ourselves or our home. thank Artemis. thank Kali. thank Gaia.

2004-01-29T19:23:00.000-08:00

Congratulations! You're a Bunny Hug!!

What Drink Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

oops...

2004-01-29T19:20:00.000-08:00

here's the linkage to the Band Name Generator.

Band Name

2004-01-29T19:19:00.000-08:00

Miss S Fur
Miss S Maiden
Miss S Alloy
Miss S Profile and the Tired Hobo
Sucky Miss S
Suffocated Miss S
Miss S Jocket
Uninvited Miss S
Miss S Tongue
Miss S Milk
Used Revised
Dingus of the Green
Scene Miss S
Miss S Attack
Exiled Miss S
Coarse Miss S
Bed of the Miss S Packet
Miss S Giraffe
Miss S of the Cramp
Miss S Meltdown
Pickled Miss S of the Busted Guardian
Countless Miss S
Coin Miss S of the Gifted Graham
Miss S Tuesday
Miss S Token and the Resistant Cream

making the rounds

2004-01-29T14:25:00.000-08:00

nor have i visited any of my favorite blogs, which i will begin presently.

gads, the "currently" table to our right needs to be updated as well. what is it they say of idle hands? hmmm.

she lives

2004-01-29T14:23:00.000-08:00

it's been far too long. i've been far too somethingoranother. hello again.

The Dubya Clock

2003-12-09T12:56:00.000-08:00

A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
    St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."
    "Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"
    "That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."     "Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"
    St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."
     "Where's Bush's clock?" asked the man.
    "Bush's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

life goes on. yeah.

2003-11-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

some days, it feels like someone or something pulled the plug and every ounce of my energy spills out of me and onto the floor. some days, it feels like the Goddess of Apathy loves me way too much.

my body hurts and the rest of me is numb.

and that...is the end of my whining session.

so, i'm volunteering tomorrow for the local soup kitchen. i'll be cooking for nine hours for those that don't have a roof over their heads this year; for those who were sleeping under the bridge in the riverbed just last week until the local business owners decided they'd had enough of witnessing how the other half lives when they've fallen through the cracks so they decided to gang up on law enforcement and have them all ousted. these people will be fed at the city park in the middle of town. i'm relieved they will be fed. these people, after being fed, will return to their shopping carts and makeshift cardboard houses to sleep in 30 degree weather on Thanksgiving night.

last year, i volunteered as well. i did the meals on wheels thing, delivering a boxed turkey dinner w/trimmings to elderly people with absolutely NO ONE in the world to share it with. many of them asked me to "please stay" and share the dinner w/them. "please stay" and talk to them. one silvered gentleman tempted me w/promises of magic tricks. i couldn't. i still had a truckload of dinners to deliver. others were hungry. others were needy. others were lonely, too. others, in fact, were dying of loneliness.

when the last deliveries came, they were all to this senior apt. complex. driving into the lot, i believed it to be abandoned with it's windborn trash and 20 year old paint. no cars, no potted plants, no color...no signs of life. i knocked on the first door w/cartons in hand and was greeted by lifeless bluegrey eyes and no words. the gentleman just opened the door and shuffled back to his lawnchair in front of the television. i stepped in, closed the door behind me and walked to the kitchenette counter to set the cartons down. i only had a few more dinners to deliver and they were all right next door to this one, so i asked the man if he wanted me to fix him a plate or make him something to drink. "No. Just GO." his chin was thrust high with pride.

...

this year they needed volunteer drivers. i said no. no, not this year. this year, i'll volunteer behind the scenes where it's safe and i can remain semi-blind and afterwards, i'll go HOME where it's warm to my FAMILY who loves and supports me and i'll count each and every blessing and i'll be THANKFUL for every.shred. of grace and abundance in my life.

the seven dwarfs

2003-11-21T20:28:00.000-08:00

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the seven dwarfs" they get ushered in to see
the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are
no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back to face the Pope.

"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."

This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.
Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down
their cheeks as they begin chanting:

"Dopey fucked a penguin!"

"Dopey fucked a penguin!"

mafia mom

2003-11-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

this evening, i discovered five bullet holes in the passengers side door of my Explorer.

i've never seen my boys laugh so damn hard.

upon threats of no Gamecube for a month, they confessed to having stuck them there after winning them in a downtown arcade.

fuckin' OY.

should i leave them there or peel them off?

t.g.i.f.f.

2003-11-21T09:30:00.000-08:00

1. List five things you'd like to accomplish by the end of the year.

have my cabin completely set up

start the guifenisen protocol

revamp the workshop

find "that" inspiration

any sense of calm

2. List five people you've lost contact with that you'd like to hear from again.

zoe

carol

tom the pilot

nicolas

the sandman

3. List five things you'd like to learn how to do.

weld

weave on a loom

blacksmith

telekinesis

that Matrix running-up-the-wall-in-slow-mo thing

4. List five things you'd do if you won the lottery (no limit).

buy a lighthouse for me mum with a baby grand at the very top level and an expansive library at the entrance

trip around the world for both my sons BEFORE they decide on a college

a winery or three

sizable funding to a group of agnostic sci-mystics to get to the bottom of my constant state of deja vu

an Italian villa on the Oregon coast

5. List five things you do that help you relax.

sexsexsex

climb into a great book

hottub

breathe

garden

oh, lawd

2003-11-20T12:32:00.000-08:00

At one point in Steve Martin's novella, The Pleasure of My Company, the main character Daniel says: "The real me and a false one were competing against each other." San Francisco Chronicle reviewer David Kipen comments that "You could easily read the whole novella as the story of this competition between real and false Daniels." I think we can apply a similar description to your adventures in the coming weeks, Gemini: The deep, genuine version of you will be struggling for supremacy with the artificial, fragmented one.

2003-11-18T09:02:00.000-08:00

Massachusetts court rules ban on gay marriage is unconstitutional : a small victory but NOT GOOD ENOUGH

California slashes HIV funding:a HEX on you, Diana Bonta

i hereby proclaim this day Mouth Like a Sailor Day.

run rabbit run

2003-11-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

cool time flash app

the friday five on monday. so there.

2003-11-17T14:50:00.000-08:00

1. Using one adjective, describe your current living space.

feathernesty

2. Using two adjectives, describe your current employer.

yours truly

3. Using three adjectives, describe your favorite hobby/pasttime.

wet slick orgasmic

4. Using four adjectives, describe your typical day.

newsy muse-y snoozy (and sometimes) bluesy

5. Using five adjectives, describe your ideal life.

bohemian luscious vicarious hilarious serene

twatcha!

2003-11-17T11:38:00.000-08:00

The Gender Genie thinks the author of this blog is: male!

Female Score: 143
Male Score: 318

2003-11-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

exhaustion. gah.

i wasn't able to dive into the paint pots as i wished this weekend. as much as i tried to just let things BE, i was left uninspired and more than that...frustrated by the process. i finally gave it up; replacing the brush with a shovel. working outside, i dug trenches for new electric lines and when the blisters from that became unbearable, i picked up a pair of pruners and cut away the dead growth in most of my flower beds and when my hands started cramping and got too cold, i came inside again to scrub the entertainment center with lemon oil.

the paint pots will be there tomorrow. the canvas remains neutral and does not judge me harshly for not giving it color or texture, although i HAVE covered it w/sheeting so i don't have to be feel the cold slap of it's emptiness each time i look at it.

onward...and into my day.

what i need this weekend

2003-11-14T17:16:00.000-08:00

*to quiet my mind

**paint-stained fingers

***slow & fluid movement

****cinnamon sticks not cigarettes

*****hyr arms around me

these things are fun and fun is good

2003-11-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

finds...

what did that bitch just say?

vaginas! yay!

clone your bone. match your snatch.

What floods of bliss! What melting transports! What agonies of delight!

implicit association test

in other news, i have both nothing and everything to report.

read it. weep.

2003-11-12T17:59:00.000-08:00

..."training troops should have nothing to do with bursting the eardrums of defenseless dolphins..."

i object !

2003-11-11T10:51:00.000-08:00

(via MSN)

""Queer Eye" Straightens Up
For all those who have joked about turning the perfectly prepared tables on "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," brace yourself. Variety reports that Bravo is set to do a one-episode spin-off titled "Straight Eye for the Queer Guy" in which five hetero guys will perform a so-called "make-better" on a gay man.

While the Fab Five exploded onto the scene by preaching the benefits of style, taste, and class through ear hair removal, couture clothing, and self-tanning, the straight guys are reportedly planning to school their subject in such supposedly manly topics as power tools and sports. We can only hope the secrets of beer chugging and the etiquette of tipping your lap dancer won't be included.

The straight guys have not yet been cast, and it's still unclear whether the original Fab Five, all of whom recently received hefty pay raises, will appear on the special, due to air sometime next year. "Queer Eye" returns with new episodes on November 18, and a holiday special is planned for December 16, with the guys following up with some past makeover victims.
"

four and twenty blackbirds...

2003-11-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

it's been drizzling here all day and i'm delighted. i awoke @ 4 a.m. with a start and didn't even TRY to go back to sleep. i got up, made some tea, bundled up and sat by the window staring at absolutely nothing and allowing the stillness to swallow me whole. i'm not sure how long i remained as such but when i became aware of my surroundings again, my tea was gone and i don't remember drinking any of it.

did some baking today. one of my favorite things to do when the dark part of the year is upon us. i'm nesty and my timing is perfect. banana walnut bread, mocha buttons dipped in dark chocolate, apricot scones. delish. baskets will go to my rainbow family complete with honey-butter for the scones. there is magick in my cooking and baking. hearts are warmed, restless souls stilled, friends gather to share and break bread together, Hestia is invoked and smile lines are deepened.

blessed be.

Hey John, your village called...

2003-11-07T11:34:00.000-08:00

War-line.com believes that pornography, strip clubs and the like are all linked, in some obscure way to RAPE.

"War-Line is serious about fighting organizations that lend to pornography, destroy lives and families in our communities around the country. As you well know, nude/bikini bars and adult book stores are two organizations that cause much of the pain and suffering in our society. In addition, they tend to lead to sexual assault due to the "frenzy from aroused men" that frequent these locations.

We plan to frequent these locations with cameras and if you wish to enter a nude/bikini bar or adult book store, your photo could wind up on our site! How would you like for your mother, wife, father, children, pastor or others to see your photo on the world-wide web as you enter one of these establishments? Think twice before you plan to visit one of these facilities or you could "Get Busted" on War-Line."

The site then links to a page on their site where the world can browse upon pictures of porn patrons. I will not link to this page from my site because I don't believe it's anyone's fucking business who frequents which establishment; nor do I think that anyone visiting/supporting the local adult toy store or peek-a-booth should be ashamed of having done so.

"Frenzy from aroused men"? Oh, please. Throw us back into the stone age where women who showed their ankles in public were ridiculed and labeled as "cheap" why don'tcha; back into that societal crypt of old in which we choked on putrid phrases like "she was asking for it with the way she dressed". How many times do women have to shout out the fact that RAPE IS AN ACT OF VIOLENCE, NOT AN ACT OF SEX OR SEXUAL DESIRE. IT IS AN ACT OF POWER AND CONTROL !?

"Frenzy from aroused MEN"? I wonder how the men in this world feel about that statement. This site and it's writers have convicted every male on the globe of rape just because they want to get their porn on. And what about the frenzy of aroused women? Will we also go out and rape when we are chomping at the sexual bit?

This mentality smells of a deep and festering sexual frustration, a lack of ANY enlightment into the most basic of human natures and the perpetuation of this particular mind set is dangerous, discriminatory, archaic and worthy of only one thing: loathing.

The owner of this site:

Registrant:
War-Line
8219 Minors Lane
Louisville, Kentucky 40219
United States
Registered through: GoDaddy.com
Domain Name: WAR-LINE.COM
Created on: 29-Aug-03
Expires on: 29-Aug-04
Last Updated on: 29-Aug-03
Administrative Contact:
Reneer, John sales@treasuretech.com
War-Line
8219 Minors Lane
Louisville, Kentucky 40219
United States
502.338.0775 Fax --
Technical Contact:
Reneer, John sales@treasuretech.com
War-Line
8219 Minors Lane
Louisville, Kentucky 40219
United States
502.338.0775 Fax --
Domain servers in listed order:
NS1.OLDHAMCOUNTYONLINE.COM
NS2.OLDHAMCOUNTYONLINE.COM

Advice for ole' John Boy:

1. Get your hand out of that Vaseline jar. It's making your hands all pruney and it's not water soluble.
2. Get your nose out of that King James version and into a copy of Betty Dodson's Sex For One: The Joy of Self-loving. Emphasis on the self-loving part for reasons beyond obvious.
3. Get that Pamela Anderson t-shirt off. That is so 1999. Ever hear of Tori Welles?
4. Get on your knees and suck my silicone shaft. That's it, John Boy. Take it all.

The Good Old Days

2003-11-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

The Washington Post Report had a contest a while ago, in which people were asked to tell Gen-Xers how much harder you had it in the old days. Here are some of the entries:

Runner-Up:

In my day, we couldn't afford shoes, so we went barefoot. In the winter we had to wrap our feet with barbed wire for traction.

Bill Flavin, Alexandria

And the winner of the velour bicentennial poster:

In my day, we didn't have rocks. We had to go down to the creek and wash our clothes by beating them with our heads.

Barry Blyveis, Columbia

Honorable Mentions:

In my day, we didn't get that disembodied, slightly ticked-off voice saying 'Doors closing.' We got on the train, the doors closed, and if your hand was sticking out it scraped along the tunnel all the way to the Silver Spring station and it was a bloody stump at the end. But the base fare was only a dollar.

Russell Beland, Springfield

In my day, we didn't have water. We had to smash together our own hydrogen and oxygen atoms.

Diana Hugue, Bowie

In my day, we didn't have hand-held calculators. We had to do addition on our fingers. To subtract, we had to have some fingers amputated.

Jon Patrick Smith, Washington

In my day, we didn't have virtual reality. If a one-eyed razorback barbarian warrior was chasing you with an ax, you just had to hope you could outrun him.

Sarah M. Wolford, Hanover

In my day, we wore our pants up around our armpits. Monstrous wedgies, but we looked snappy.

Bruce Evans, Washington

2003-11-06T14:23:00.000-08:00

puncturing soft flesh
pushing through tissue and muscle
to find the sequestered artery.
the sinew firm
fangs gouge deeper
the air constricts in your lungs
you try to shriek yet
all that emerges is a gargled whimper
razor sharp fangs puncture
the resistent walls
the blood pumps forward
the dam broken
the artery pulsates
as your own blood
betrays you
betrays your own will to survive
it's will to live stronger
so it escapes
into me
SURRENDERS
to the seductive lure of dancing saliva
it's adultry to your husk of a body
warm elixer becoming my concubine
mine.

//4Beasty//

lunchtime finds

2003-11-06T11:11:00.000-08:00

WHEN is the Matrix?

Dog Shoots Man

Celtic Tales of Bird & Beast gimme.

Listen-StoryCorps

New Nickel

little veep

2003-11-06T10:09:00.000-08:00

he wore a white collared shirt and his very best cargo pants; combed his hair just right and went to school wearing his usual charming smile. this day was important but he was prepared.

his speech:

"Hello, my name is K. and I am running for president. I have been going to [school name] for 4 years and now I am on my 5th. I think you should vote for me because I am very responsible and very intelligent. Another reason you should vote for me is because I am a very good leader and I have great ideas for the school, so that kids can have a lot of fun and learn at the same time. If you have any questions, you can get back to me on that and I also hope you will give me your support at election time. Thank you."

he won the position of Vice President for the Student Council, conceding the post of President by 5 votes to a lovely girl named Marcy.

next week, i'll talk to him about our country's medical care crisis and woman's right to choice.

2003-11-05T03:45:00.000-08:00

hey! lookit me!

My inner child is ten years old!

The adult world is pretty irrelevant to me. Whether
I'm off on my bicycle (or pony) exploring, lost
in a good book, or giggling with my best
friend, I live in a world apart, one full of
adventure and wonder and other stuff adults
don't understand.

How Old is Your Inner Child?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-11-04T20:21:00.000-08:00

feeling a bit better tonight. feeling...

thankful
contemplative
quiet

i also feel like sharing some Yeats.

When you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

and...

ALL the words that I utter,
  And all the words that I write,
Must spread out their wings untiring,
  And never rest in their flight,
Till they come where your sad, sad heart is,
  And sing to you in the night,
Beyond where the waters are moving,
  Storm-darken'd or starry bright.

and yet one more verse...

I BRING you with reverent hands
The books of my numberless dreams;
White woman that passion has worn
As the tide wears the dove-gray sands,
And with heart more old than the horn
That is brimmed from the pale fire of time:
White woman with numberless dreams
I bring you my passionate rhyme.

2003-11-03T08:53:00.000-08:00

ew. very sick. skin hurts. low grade fever. sinus infection and major whoop-de-do cough. i also have no voice and feel like a raging bitch. yes, oh so cranky. found some Cipro that i was prescribed and i never took. not expired so i'm on it even though it's only a 6 (instead of 7) day supply. we'll see. if this doesn't knock it back a bit, i'll have to go in the dreaded d-d-doc. ew.

both the boyz are sick as well but kids are so much more resilient. they're at school and i'm sitting here in 5 layers of sweaters feeling like the victim of a hit and run. shiver me timbers i think i need more tea.

2003-11-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

oh, for fuck sake. could i have any MORE Dubya Disgust???

2003-11-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

via me Mum:

November 1, 2003

Daughter Spurs Gephardt's Changed View on Gays
By RACHEL L. SWARNS

WASHINGTON, Oct. 31 — The first hint of the unexpected was in the annual Christmas card from Congress. There, in the photo of Representative Richard A. Gephardt of Missouri and his smiling family, stood his daughter Chrissy with her arm around another woman.

Mr. Gephardt sent out more than 2,000 of the Christmas cards last year, letting his constituents and colleagues know for the first time that his 30-year-old daughter was proudly and openly gay. Since then, she has become one of the public faces of his presidential campaign and something of a celebrity.

Her transformation from a married social worker into an outspoken advocate for gay rights has been widely chronicled. But what is less commonly known is that her journey would have been far more difficult without her father's.

Mr. Gephardt's decision to turn the spotlight on his daughter underscores his own evolution in 27 years in Congress. In the early 1980's, he opposed abortion, school busing and federally financed legal services for gay men and lesbians.

Over the years, he has changed those positions and today is hailed by gay and lesbian rights groups for sponsoring legislation against hate crimes and discrimination and for being the first presidential hopeful to give a gay relative such a prominent and public platform.

"My dad is ever evolving," Ms. Gephardt likes to tell her audiences. "I'm working on him."

One of those areas is gay marriage, which she avidly supports and he does not.

The daughter's presence is not entirely free of calculation. Polls suggest that Mr. Gephardt's fortunes have risen in recent weeks in Iowa, with its crucial early caucuses and where he is in a tight race with former Gov. Howard Dean of Vermont. Mr. Gephardt needs liberal voters, and such voters tend to support gay rights. A campaign letter, sent to Democratic voters, emphasizes his support of gay concerns and includes a letter from Ms. Gephardt.

Though many of the Democratic hopefuls, including Mr. Gephardt, oppose gay marriage, nearly all support measures that would bar discrimination against gays in the workplace, increase financing for AIDS treatment and legalize civil unions, allowing gays and their partners to enjoy the legal rights accorded to married people. Experts say that is a seismic shift from the 80's and early 90's, when gay rights rarely figured so prominently on the political agenda.

The shift reflects what analysts and pollsters describe as a widening acceptance of gay men and lesbians in American political and cultural life over the past decade. Mr. Gephardt, 62, says his views have shifted as he met people directly affected by his votes in Congress and considered what it would be like to walk in their shoes.

It cannot have been easy. The son of a milk-truck driver, Mr. Gephardt grew up in a religious family in segregated St. Louis in the 40's and 50's. His mother hoped that he would become a minister, and he was a youth leader in the Third Baptist Church.

When he was growing up, he said, he never knew anyone who was openly gay, and people often made fun of homosexuality.

"It was seen as abnormal behavior," he said. "It was a very different time, but that's the way it was.

"You learn as you go through life. You meet people, and if you listen to people — and I do try to listen to people — you can really learn. And I've learned."

Mr. Gephardt acknowledges that his metamorphosis has sometimes been awkward and uncomfortable. He has been accused of opportunism, particularly when he first reversed his positions on busing and abortion rights before running for the Democratic presidential nomination in 1988.

He says some colleagues questioned his judgment when he hired Steve Elmendorf, an openly gay man, as his chief of staff in 1992, long before he learned that his daughter is a lesbian.

His decision to include his daughter in his campaign and her partner, Amy Loder, in the family photograph and in brochures has touched off angry letters and telephone calls from conservative-minded supporters.

But perhaps toughest of all has been confronting his own position on gay marriage when he looks in the green eyes of his daughter, who said two years ago that she is a lesbian.

The issue is no longer an abstract argument in the halls of Congress, but an intensely and wrenchingly personal debate across the family dinner table.

"He knows I disagree with him," said Ms. Gephardt, who describes her experiences over the last two years as "an emotional roller coaster."

She is warm and vivacious, with short spiky blond hair and seemingly irrepressible confidence. As a child, she knocked on doors and passed out pamphlets for her father's campaigns. But she anguished for more than a year before she could bring herself to tell him the truth.

The truth was that after four years of marriage she had fallen in love with Ms. Loder, a classmate in graduate school. Telling the truth, she thought, would mean being divorced and destroying her father's career.

"I just assumed it was a liability," Ms. Gephardt said in an interview. "I thought for sure it would be this family secret, and that we would keep it to ourselves."

When she finally broke down in tears and disclosed her secret in April 2001 over dinner in an Italian restaurant in St. Louis, her parents embraced her and promised to support her. They had suspected that she was involved with Ms. Loder because she had been spending so much time with her.

"We were naturally worried and concerned," said Mr. Gephardt, who added that he worried about the trauma of a divorce and the discrimination that his daughter might encounter.

"But we told her," he recalled, " `We will always be behind you.' "

Mr. Gephardt and his wife, Jane, invited their daughter and Ms. Loder to live with them for several months after the couple had completed graduate school in St. Louis and were looking for jobs in Washington.

Last November, they asked Ms. Loder to appear in the family portrait for the Christmas card. In March, Mr. Gephardt invited his daughter to join his campaign full time and to tell her story across the country.

Early next year, Mr. Gephardt and his wife and daughter will appear together in photos that will appear on billboards and in magazines in Washington and New York to help a gay advocacy group that the Gephardts joined this year.

The photographs — part of an educational campaign organized by Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays — are expected to carry a slogan like "we love our gay daughter."

Other prominent Americans with gay relatives will also be featured.

"I'm sure," Mr. Gephardt said, "there are people who don't like the decision that she's made and think that it's wrong, immoral, whatever and will look badly on me. But I don't care. My family always comes first."

By the time he learned that his daughter is gay, he was already considered a reliable advocate for gay rights. In 1995, he was a co-sponsor of a bill to bar discrimination against gay federal employees. In 1999, he was co-sponsor of one to extend federal protection from hate crimes to people attacked because of their sexual orientation.

"Congressman Gephardt has for a long time been a friend of the gay and lesbian community," said Winnie Stachelberg, director of the Human Rights Campaign, the largest gay advocacy organization.

"But having a family member who talks to you about these issues makes it more personal, makes it more real," Ms. Stachelberg said. "It makes a difference."

Ms. Gephardt is inevitably compared to Mary Cheney, Vice President Dick Cheney's gay daughter, who was active in the 2000 presidential campaign. But Ms. Cheney and her parents never discussed her sexual orientation publicly.

Ms. Gephardt acknowledges that taking such a public stance is not easy. On the campaign trail, some of her father's supporters have quietly taken her aside and told her not to talk so much about being gay.

The discrimination she says she has encountered, both at her old job as a social worker and elsewhere, has made her reluctant at times to introduce Ms. Loder as her live-in partner. Sometimes she describes Ms. Loder as a cousin.

But Ms. Gephardt said she forged ahead because she believed that she was making a difference. This year, she found that her father was not sponsoring a bill that would require the federal government to recognize gay couples who move to the United States after marrying legally abroad. She brought the issue to his attention, and he agreed to sponsor the measure.

She is pressing him to do more, particularly on gay marriage. At a meeting with gay and lesbian students at American University, Ms. Gephardt promised this month to be "a live-in lobbyist" if her father was elected president.

"I want my dad to understand why this is so important to me," she said. "Why should I not be able to marry if my brother and sister can? I'm working on him with this issue. And I can assure you he's listening."

2003-11-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

Joyous November! finally, it FEELS like Autumn. the rains yesterday left everything sweet and clean. damp leaves cover my drive and orchard and the smell of woodsmoke is beautifully intoxicating.

it's a day of domesticity and peace. laundering the linens, tossing the fixings for a sinful (and healthful) lamb stew into the crockpot and sitting my mellow bones down by the fire to wander a bit further East of Eden.

more later...

2003-10-31T09:31:00.000-08:00

While walking down the street one day, George "Dubya" Bush is shot by a disgruntled NRA member. His soul arrives in heaven and he is met by St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem: We seldom see a Republican around these parts, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in; I'm a believer," says Dubya.

"I'd like to just let you in, but I have orders from the Man Himself: He says you have to spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you must choose where you'll live for eternity."

"But, I've already made up my mind; I want to be in Heaven."

"I'm sorry, but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to an elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a lush golf course; the sun is shining in a cloudless sky, the temperature a perfect 72 degrees. In the distance is a beautiful clubhouse. Standing in front of it his dad...and thousands of other Republicans who had helped him out over the years...Karl Rove, Dick Cheney, Jerry Falwell.... The whole of the "Right" was there...everyone laughing...happy...casually but expensively dressed.

They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had getting rich at expense of the "suckers and peasants". They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. The Devil himself comes up to Bush with a frosty drink, "Have a Margarita and relax, Dubya!"

"Uh, I can't drink no more, I took a pledge," says Junior, dejectedly.

"This is Hell, son: you can drink and eat all you want and not worry, and it just gets better from there!"

Dubya takes the drink and finds himself liking the Devil, who he thinks is a really very friendly guy who tells funny jokes and pulls hilarious nasty pranks, kind of like a Yale Skull and Bones brother with real horns. They are having such a great time that, before he realizes it, it's time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves as Bush steps on the elevator and heads upward.

When the elevator door reopens, he is in Heaven again and St. Peter is waiting for him. "Now it's time to visit Heaven," the old man says, opening the gate.

So for 24 hours Bush is made to hang out with a bunch of honest, good-natured people who enjoy each other's company, talk about things other than money, and treat each other decently. Not a nasty prank or frat boy joke among them; no fancy country clubs and, while the food tastes great, it's not caviar or lobster. And these people are all poor, he doesn't see anybody he knows, and he isn't even treated like someone special! Worst of all, to Dubya, Jesus turns out to be some kind of Jewish hippie with his endless 'peace' and 'do unto others' jive.

"Whoa," he says uncomfortably to himself, "Pat Robertson never prepared me for this!"

The day done, St. Peter returns and says, "Well, then, you've spent a day in Hell and a day in Heaven. Now choose where you want to live for eternity."

With the 'Jeopardy' theme playing softly in the background, Dubya reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have thought I'd say this -- I mean, Heaven has been delightful and all -- but I really think I belong in Hell with my friends."

So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down, all the way to Hell. The doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren scorched earth covered with garbage and toxic industrial waste, kind of like Houston. He is horrified to see all of his friends, dressed in rags and chained together, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. They are groaning and moaning in pain, faces and hands black with grime. The Devil comes over to Dubya and puts an arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers a shocked Dubya, "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a clubhouse and we ate lobster and caviar... drank booze. We screwed around and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and everybody looks miserable!"

The Devil looks at him, smiles slyly, and purrs, "Yesterday we were campaigning; today you voted for us."

--Joey Martin, Chicago

2003-10-31T09:30:00.000-08:00

how cute is this?

2003-10-31T08:39:00.000-08:00

OMFG, this sounds delightful!

2003-10-31T08:14:00.000-08:00

VERY cool.

2003-10-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

HALLOWE'EN

Pixie, kobold, elf, and sprite
All are on their rounds to-night,-
In the wan moon's silver ray
Thrives their helter-skelter play.

Fond of cellar, barn,or stack,
True unto the almanac,
They present to credulous eyes
Strange hobgoblin mysteries.

Cabbage-stomps-straws wet with dew-
Apple-skins, and chestnuts too,
And a mirror for some lass,
Show what wonders come to pass.

Doors they move, and gates they hide,
Mischiefs that on moon-beams ride
Are their deeds, and, by their spells,
Love records its oracles.

Don't we all, of long ago,
By the ruddy fireplace glow,
In the kitchen and the hall,
Those queer, coofllke pranks recall?

Eery shadows were they then-
But to-night they come again;
Were we once more but sixteen,
Precious would be Halloween.

-Joel Benton

2003-10-30T07:48:00.000-08:00

i saw Beyond Borders last night. my advice? skip the flick and bookmark THIS site.

2003-10-30T07:45:00.000-08:00

oldie but goodie

Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Al Gore were in an
airplane that
crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the
great white
throne. God addresses Al first.

"Al, what do you believe in?"

Al replies, "Well, I believe I won that election, but that
it was your
Will that I did not serve. And I've come to understand that
now."

God thinks for a second and says "Okay, very good. Come and
sit at
my left."

God then addresses Bill. "Bill, what do you believe in?"

Bill replies, "I believe in forgiveness. I've sinned, but
I've never
held a grudge against my fellow man, and I hope no grudges
are held
against
me."

God thinks for a second and says "You are forgiven, my son.
Come and
sit at my right."

God then address Hillary. "Hillary, what do you believe
in?"

"I believe you're in my chair."

2003-10-30T07:42:00.000-08:00

HRC CONDEMNS ANTI-GAY REMARKS OF U.S. REP. ZACH WAMP

2003-10-28T11:44:00.000-08:00

Which Evil Criminal are You?

The Evil Criminal Test

Congratulations, you're Elizabeth Bathory!

Hailing from sunny Transylvania, your first blood-related incident was when you stabbed a servant girl in the face with a pair of scissors for underperforming. Some of the red spray landed on your hands, and as you washed it off, you noticed that it left your skin fresh and young looking. From then on you were convinced that the blood of young girls was the secret to eternal youth.

Rather than killing girls outright by stabbing them or slitting their throats, you enjoy torturing them for weeks on end by pricking them with needles or prodding with sharp spikes - all to bathe in their blood. You've killed over six hundred women, all without raising a peep from the authorities.